Back to work so a restless night was guaranteed. It was only natural to roll around and be annoyed by stupid thoughts, feeding fears and adding up all of my failures of course I started off the morning at 4:18 am. The dog needed to go out… Really Chewy? Really? My husband and I both woke up and he was quickly dealt with, running back to his bed unaware that sleep is important to the humans. I laid there till it was time to get up, feeling better prepared for the day after talking myself off the ledge again.
Got up, unbraided my hair and Poof! Restless sleep + Rolling around = Halo of frizz. I was rough and stuff with my afro puff! Thank heaven for Tre semme Gel , I grabbed it all up and put it into a fluffy, yet cute pony tail.
Hubby put together a cute outfit and gifted it to me for the holidays so of course, I wanted to look adorable. I quickly put it on and it fit great! Grabbed the stockings and “rip”, Sigh. Deep eye rolls while reaching for the clear nail polish. I can’t save the stockings but I could at least wear them today. Grabbed the car keys… “Where are my house keys?” digging through my empty purse, in my coat pockets, ransacked my dresser… No keys.
Found them… in my empty purse. Kissed my Kiddo goodbye, kissed the hubby and ran out the door 4 minutes later than I wanted, with plenty of time to still get a parking spot.
It was drizzling but not too bad, cool but it felt great. I was driving… and then I was driving into oncoming traffic… How you might ask? Somewhere between making a turn I didn’t get into the correct lane and was headlight to headlight with another car, luckily it was far away , yet it spooked me and at 20 mph it was no biggie but still, that was dumb.
Where was my head? I pulled over, cleared my mind then continued to work. Three blocks from the school, I slam on my breaks and avoid having the front of my car ripped off. The guy also stopped, never looking at me for a second. No word of apology, no look to make sure I didn’t have a heart attack or got hurt, nothing. All you heard were the muffled curses I hurled at him through my windshield while I gripped the wheel and steadied my heart. I parked the car and sat back with the engine and the lights off.
I thought of all the annoying things that had happened that morning and how they bought me those few extra minutes that could have cost me more than a red face, momentary shock and rage. I exhaled deeply, not realizing that I had been holding my breath. He wasn’t going fast enough to have killed me but I could have been hurt, or he could have. His lack of caring was another story. I can’t imagine what was going through his mind, but I hope he thought about me later.
The law of attraction is a real thing and I believe in it, but I also know that when shit is going to happen to you, it’s going to happen. What you do about it and how you handle it is entirely up to you and for that I try to be thankful, even if I’m angry about it. That’s not to say that the universe doesn’t intercede on our behalf. Today was a great example. “Get your head out of your ass!” was heard loud and clear though it took a second warning. The Universe/God/ddess/Spirit/Angels/ Entities what have you, exist! Tapping into those frequencies, I think, can help avoid some unnecessary lessons/issues/accidents/mishaps etc so thank you crazy dog for being a pest… to the mischievous spirit that helped me tear my stocking and not find my keys, Lola and I thank you for making us late. Thank you empty parking spot for being there and letting me decompress and think about a few things, including my mortality. Which lead me to ask “So what now for the New Year? Any thoughts brain?”
I stopped making new year’s resolutions a little while ago, I found that I never really kept them, for an assortment of reasons but decided that it would be a good idea to reflect, and focus on the things that mattered the most to me, the projects, the people, whatever it was and set some goals. No deadlines, just goals and some affirmations here and there to spice things up!
Affirmations and Goals for 2017
- Acceptance. Things never go the way you want them to so stop trying to make them! Enjoy whatever happiness something/someone can give you, no matter how short lived. Find the good in any situation, sometimes you have to look extra hard, and a couple of times to find it, but it’s there!
- Let go. Letting go of things and people that no longer serve you, no matter how painful. Being alone is better than being in bad company (thanks mom for the “refranes” ) I need to focus on letting go of hang-ups. They’re getting too heavy to carry. I am fortunate to have some really great people in my life
- Living Healthy. What does that mean to you? Many people ran to join a gym; I was one of those individuals on more than one occasion. This year I took a moment to think about what “Healthy” meant. My physical, my mental and my spiritual health all need attention. I started some happy vibes spell work and will be visiting the doctor to go over some questions about my overall physical/mental self.
- Fight for your rights, to be heard, to be acknowledged, to be loved, for the things you want, the things you need, fight to be human. Stand up and face adversity no matter how many times it knocks you down. Keep getting up no matter how hard it gets and eventually you will overcome. This Year I will be fighting PCOS head on.
- Feed the Creative. Everyone likes to make or do something! Sing, dance, draw, paint, write, make people laugh, acting, crafts, cooking, sports, whatever! Feeding the creative nourishes your soul and gives you strength to get through hard times without you realizing it. This is your stress relief, your go to for “punching it out” so give the creative some breathing room, it will make you happier.
- Love yourself completely! Spoil yourself, learn every inch of your skin, even the parts that make you upset or you wish weren’t there, love those parts extra hard! Learn about what makes you happy, what makes you smile or laugh so hard you cry ( or pee! Lol) Then share that with others. When you love yourself you set a standard, and those that truly love you will exceed those standards without breaking a sweat, why? Because you’re worth it!
- Know who they are and make time for them. A simple how are you can come at a moment when they are falling into the abyss but the light of your text message can bring them back even for just a moment to remind them that you care.
- We are all busy but time is something we don’t get back. Make time for simple pleasures, waste time doing fun and unproductive things. Give your time to the people who matter the most, it’s the best gift ever. Don’t forget to make time for yourself as well.
- Look back but don’t go back. The past always looks beautiful or better or easier from the present but the reality is, that things have changed, for either good or bad and that was a decision you made. Learn from it but don’t go backwards, your feet aren’t pointing that way. There is plenty ahead of you.
- Go for it! Fear is crippling. Take chances, go after your dreams, try new things. Believe people when they say nice things about you. Believe that you are enough. I wear fear like underwear, it’s always there with me, forgotten until it starts to ride up my ass, and if you’ve ever seen my ass, you know that’s an easy accomplishment. If I was a superhero I would be Captain Fear and my side kick would be Worrywart. So this year I’m going commando and wearing fear like a coat instead. To use only when needed and necessary.
- Forgiving can be really hard to do. I choose to forgive myself for all of the dumb thoughts I have had and still have. I will forgive myself for the things I am working on and still fall short from. I will forgive myself for not being the best me I know I can be and have been. Now I can heal.
- Be a witch! Own your power! Know your strength, work on weaknesses. Shake your fist at the world and say “This is what I want so Gimme!” some things will come easy, some will never come and others may take a few tries but we can manifest change and progress so let’s be the best witch we can be!
- Cook! Last but not least, let’s make some magical food! Looking forward to putting up more recipes and blogs this year!
Picture Credit : (Me) That’s my Chewy looking apologetic.. I can’t be mad at him for long!