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When it feels like tomorrow isn’t possible …

March 3, 2021 by Andrea Maldonado No Comments
Andrea Maldonado | Gourmet Witch

When you don’t own your own property …

We have a terrible eye sore for a front “lawn”. Its a piece of land that is somehow part of the house. There is hardly any dirt, just a few inches poured over the concrete foundation, currently covered with rocks. Probably done to limit the grass growth, but guess what? The fucking grass, still manages to grow!!! So we are stuck cutting it… I digress. 

The point is, I can’t plant anything in that ground as there isn’t enough for roots to hold on to and redoing this patch for a rented property is an expense I really don’t want to take on, so we have some pots! ( they were also part of the property and boi, are they ugly!) I have thrown all sorts of new dirt, plant food, compost, you name it! The grass, once again, wins. 

What can I do? … 

I’m left with the two large planters on the tops of the steps. They had managed to keep flowers alive, and a few vincas over the years, but all I wanted was a flowering garden </3 ( I have a patch of dirt in the back, but that is veggie country, its too small for flowers and i love my fresh veggies!) I’ve done a few things that have helped make it less ugly, including letting a pumpkin grow wild out of one of the lower ugly pots! It provided cover for that land, so the grass stood no chance!!! Also, I got squash blossoms, and a few pumpkins for the fall, win!! 

The plan… 

My grand mother for years, has told me to plant tulips in the front. They’re beautiful and don’t require much, they do all the work mostly but the colors…. The colors are what make it all worth it! In my effort to effective change the entire look of this thing, I didnt plant any, especially, as I previously mentioned, there was hardly any dirt. Then March 2020 happened. 

The Lockdown 

The lockdown was in full effect, everyone was in a panic. Day after day of worrying, anxiety, not knowing what tomorrow would bring other than fear and death. This was a living nightmare for everyone. Tragedy struck at every avenue as we braced ourselves for the next onslaught. Humanity was under siege and was outmatched. The days of plentiful food shelves were gone, meat was hard to get and over priced. 

Finally forced to step out, I saw turkey’s in the display cases because there wasn’t much else. I HATE turkey ; But this isn’t a pandemic post exactly, this is about tulips – 

I was cut off from the world, and family. All I wanted was to see my mom and my grandma, to look at my friends in the eye but I couldn’t. We did what we had to, and we stayed inside. The two week mark was up, we all probably thought that was it, but it wasn’t. We soldiered on.. – the tulips, drea! Sorry. 

The struggle continued

At the end of April, I was out of my mind but playing the pretend game, where you smile all day, are excessively cheerful or agree to do anything that your husband and child want just so there are no fights or discomfort, then you take a shower and crying yourself clean, while turning up the temperature so that your eyes aren’t the only things that are red. You do that some more, and then when everyone is asleep…you ugly cry into your pillow as you pray for the longevity of your loved one’s and the world. Once again, I digress. 

Gardening was on the list of “lock down to do’s” but this was a staple for us, So we packed ourselves into the car, armed with sanitizer, masks and gloves. The plan was to stay outside and away from everyone. The agreement was if it got crowded, drop everything and leave. Luck was on our side that day. 

The mulch and dirt was in the parking lot on pallets, so we loaded it onto carts and headed towards the register. I still had seeds from the previous year and plenty of pots but then I saw them, and my heart sank. Carts and carts of tulips, daffodils, hyacints and crocuses. brushing away those few tears that were forming, and spending more than I should have, I got my tulips, the hyacinth and some crocus. 

Its planting time! 

While everyone else worked on mulching the walking paths, I got to work on these plants. Crocus to the front, tulips in the middle and hyacinths on the sides. An oath was made that spring would no longer be heralded by Puxatawny and some calendar! I still love you Phil but I’m leaving this one to the blooming flowers and the birds at my window screaming for sex, smh. Me too birds, me too lol. 

The Hyacinth was for Deam Lux. Missing my coven, and not knowing when we could circle again was scary af. I dug in the dirt and asked these plant babies to bloom, grow and return next season, in hopes that when Ostara came around again, they would be blooming, calling the coven on the wind, escorting them inside. 

I picked some vibrant colors for the tulips, representing my mom and my grandma and a gothy looking purple one for me. In that chaos of color, they all fit, perfectly, and beautiful. Speaking to the tulips, my wish was that they would come back again, so my grandma could see them. She needs to see them. I need her to see them. I snapped some pictures, sent them to mom and said “Show grandma!”. We got on a call later, “I can’t wait for you to see them, these are for you.”

Almost a year later… 

Last week, as I walked the dog in the still frigid air or late February as I walked up the steps, I felt a little nudge. I turned my view to the planters, that were covered in dead weeds and grass from the winter. The snow was gone and something told me to pull at those dead plants. Voila! HELLO crocus sprouts! Two days later the green blades of the tulips shot up. Yesterday the head of a hyacinth was almost all the way out! The birds are screaming in the morning and the air is lighter. Spring in here, doing what it promised- It brought tomorrow! Waiting on a few more degrees of warmth then it’s off to whisk grandma over the river and into New Jersey.

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Reading time: 5 min
Blog•Food

Cookies and Sex Magic

February 5, 2021 by Andrea Maldonado No Comments
Andrea Maldonado | Gourmet Witch

Feel free to skip to the bottom for the Sugar Cookie Recipe and Royal Icing Recipe !

Jump to Recipe

Sex Magic and its practice has been around forever, and honestly, I’m here for it! The power of an orgasm goes a long way so harnessing that energy and channeling it to manifest your goals is HIGH KEY some amazing witchcraft, IMO. Like many baby witches, I started off with basic love spells, (my gateway to sex magic) which crashed and burned (literally!!) They quickly taught me that focused ( a particular person)  “love” spells either don’t come through, fizzle out super quick or you meet a lot of “Joe’s”. 

Andrea Maldonado | Gourmet Witch

Work on yourself, figure out what you want in your life, in your partner and be open to the universe, that special someone is out there, looking for you too. Not ready for a serious commitment but the dating pool has been coming up short? Don’t waste good orgasms on someone who treats you like trash or doesn’t call you back, or worse and doesn’t get you off! Masturbate and slather that orgasm juice onto a candle and call that divine fuck into your life! Just for today or forever, its up to you boo! 

Getty Images/iStockphoto

What else can we use it for? 

Looking for a new job? Sex Magic! New apartment or buying a home? Sex Magic! Money spells? Sex Magic! In need of healing? Sex magic! Want to hex someone? Sex Magic! (depends!) Honestly, there isn’t a huge list of “can’ts” when it comes sex magic, its raw, its powerful and we create it, so let’s manifest some ish!  Loving yourself, and giving yourself pleasure is magic all on its own; There isn’t always a need for a purpose or task other than for your enjoyment and wellbeing! The afterglow of a dopamine rush has you looking in the mirror and seeing a snack! 

Andrea Maldonado | Gourmet Witch

Sex magic can also be done with a group. ( please note, this doesn’t mean that there has to be giant orgy, or any physical contact with the participants. That should be discussed ahead of time and agreed upon by all. more on that soon) 

A Note on group work…

There has been a loud thunderclap in the witchy and new age community. Specifically, calling out people for their unethical / cult practices. Their sexual misconduct / predatory mindset, their coercive behaviors or abuse of power. Racism, transphobia and inclusion also needed to be addressed. Work still needs to be done, but I’m grateful for some of the progress I’ve seen. A huge thanks to the resources that have been shared to help people educate themselves and do better. For many, finding a group that you feel comfortable with in general can be hard, but they are out there. Should sex magic comes up, or is an established part of their practice, It is up to you to decide what is comfortable and what is not.

This does not mean that you can’t participate in sex magic rituals in a group setting. My best advice is to ask questions. Ask whatever you need in order to feel comfortable and clear about expectations and what is going on. There is NOTHING WRONG with being cautious, and asking questions. If they can’t answer you, that’s a problem and it may be best to move along.

Listen to your gut, if it doesn’t feel right then don’t feel bad or weird about not wanting to participate or leaving. Your comfort matters, your consent is valid and the moment you want to take it back, that too is valid. This is tough topic, and I find that most often folx prefer to work alone, with a partner or a very established group of people that have been getting together for a while. Again, its really up to you and what you feel is best. *I’m going to stop here because I’d like to get really into this in another post *

Um… Cookies? 

In my last post I talked a little about sigils and language. Working them into food magic and boosting spell work. Being a witch, for me, has opened up a lot of different avenues to learn from. It has made me dig deep to learn about who I really am, and to find comfort in that person. Speaking clearly about the things that bother me, has always been an obstacle but I can’t stand in front of the hurdle forever if I want to move forward. I’m trying, and it’s gotten so much better, but there is definitely more room for growth. That being said, I don’t have an issue telling you what I want (when I know what it is lol) but maybe you do, or someone you care about does. 

Remember to have an open mind…

 For some folks, expression through conversation can be hard. Speaking about what they want from a partner takes time, and trust. Yet even after many years, people can still have fears. Trauma from previous relationships can cause people to hide the things they enjoy, so be mindful of that. Then, there’s the fear of judgement. Past experiences of any kind can contribute to someone being unwilling to share those intimate details . Fetishes are real, Kinks are real, and even things we may consider Vanilla is X-rated for some folx. While they may be into it, its still hard to talk about so again, be open and understanding. This may bring you closer together or at least, help you see that person more clearly. 

Andrea Maldonado | Gourmet Witch

 Witchcraft to me, is about creating the change that we want to see, but you have to be willing to do the work. If you find there are obstacles with your partner or love interest, Perhaps writing a playful message on a cookie for your intended can start a conversation, if you’re shy. That step, is magic to me!  Maybe the shy one is your partner, and these phrases are meant to express your desires without putting them in an awkward place ( setting an intention? sounds like magic to me).

Witchcraft also isn’t just about spell work, many witches practice some form of healing, choose to protect others and provide a safe space. You may be the sanctuary a person chooses, to feel comfortable enough to engage in conversation after a few chuckles and a few bites. You may also just want to fuck and looking for a creative way to tell them how great they are at…. (fill in the blank!). 

The cookie is your blank slate, your Altar. The magic – is up to you! Happy Kitchen Conjuring’s! 

Andrea Maldonado | Gourmet Witch

Made these cookies? Tag me on Instagram @GourmetWitch and use the hashtag #foodmagic I’d love to see what you created! 

Print Recipe

Sugar Cookies

Prep Time15 mins
Cook Time12 mins
cooling and resting2 hrs
Total Time2 hrs 30 mins
Course: Dessert
Keyword: cookies, conversation hearts
Servings: 12 each

Ingredients

  • 1 1/2 cup All Purpose Flour
  • 1 tsp Baking Powder
  • 1/2 stick unsalted butter, room temperature
  • 1/2 cup + 1 Tbsp granulated sugar
  • 1 large Egg
  • 1/2 tsp vanilla extract

Instructions

  • In the bowl of a standing mixer, or if you don't have one, you can use a bowl and a hand mixer, add the butter and sugar. Cream until light and fluffy, scraping down the sides often.
  • Add the egg, and vanilla extract. Mix until just incorporated, then Add the flour and baking powder.
  • Wrap the dough in plastic wrap and refrigerate for 1-2 hours
  • On a lightly floured surface, roll the dough out to a 1/4 inch thickness. lightly flouring a cookie cutter, press into the dough, and carefully transfer cut out to a parchment lined baking sheet. Do this until all the dough is used. Refrigerate again for 15 minutes.
  • Pre heat the oven to 325 degrees F. Bake for 10-12 minutes or until lightly golden around the edges. Take out of the oven and let stand 5 minutes, then transfer to a wire rack to cool completely.
Print Recipe

Royal Icing

Prep Time20 mins
Course: Dessert

Equipment

  • sifter, piping bags, piping tips, couplers ( optional)

Ingredients

  • 2 cups confectioner's sugar, sifted
  • 1 1/2 Tbsp Meringue Powder
  • 4-5 Tbsp cool water
  • Gel Food Coloring, as needed

Instructions

  • Sift the sugar and meringue powder together. Add water a Tablespoon at a time, and whisk well to remove the lumps. Icing should be almost the texture of pancake batter. ( don't use more than 5 tablespoons of water or it will be runny) do your best to whisk it all together well before each addition.
  • Separate Icing into 2-4 small bowls or containers ( it may see like a little but it goes a long way!) start off with a small drop of color and mix. Add as needed to reach desired color, but keep in mind the gels are highly pigmented, so less is more here.
    Note : Icing being used for outlines or writing, should be a thicker consistency than what you will "flood" or fill with, so take that into account.
  • Pipe a thin line around the edges of your cookie and let set for 5 minutes. Fill the inside, and use a skewer or toothpick to distribute icing evenly and eliminate bubbles, use a swirly motion and be sure not to get to close to the piped edge line. Let the cookie set completely then go back and pipe your phrases!
  • you can use wilton tip 2-4 for edging and writing, the smaller size is the thinner. if you have couplers, then you can make up multiple piping bags but if not, thats ok, what important is to have fun!

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Reading time: 7 min
Blog•Food

Sigils in Food Magic : Love Edition

February 2, 2021 by Andrea Maldonado No Comments

I’ll never stop saying it, food is always the answer! It can have the power to speak the things we may be too shy to say out loud or feel too vulnerable to share but want to. It can whisper an “I Love You” or scream it without startling anyone! The power lies within you. Knowing your partner and their likes/ dislikes can make this a lot smoother when it comes to planning a meal but if you’re just starting out, you can always ask a few things and leave the rest up to chance! This can even be a great talking point and another way to get to know each other. 

Andrea Maldonado | Gourmet Witch my disposition is that of a possum… please don’t startle me!

Some basic questions should include allergens ( we don’t want to rush anyone to the hospital or make for uncomfortable bathroom trips!) Whether they’re into spicy food or not, dairy not a good idea? Ask about things they really don’t like and some things they do! Do we drink? You may want to pair your meal with a bottle of wine or a cocktail.  Be sure to make your courses small enough so there is room for dessert! Are we a chocolate fan? Maybe something light with fruit, have fun! 

So where’s the food Magic? Well, once you figure out some of the above, think about your dish. What is the mood we are trying to create here? ( spell work prep!) Are we going for new love, rekindling, healing, passion? Is this a meal for loved one’s or something self love related perhaps? Give this some thought so your intentions are as clear as possible. Now it’s time to select ingredients that meet your needs. Choose things that are preferably in season but I also get that some of the items for Love aren’t and that’s ok, thank goodness for the modern day grocery store! This year, I decided to make some conversation hearts with naughty phrases, sprinkled with a few appreciation one’s. 

Where does language fit in ? Food is an unspoken language,  as are many of our written languages we use for spell work. It is written in our choice of ingredients, the way we present it, who it’s for, so much can be said on a plate so let’s use that!  Here is a perfect opportunity to add power to your food magic with the use of Sigils or seals. What is a Sigil? Simply put, it is a symbol considered to have magical powers. These are created however you feel comfortable. A sentence that you break down, using a word cipher, or even an image that embodies the intention works great. When working with edible items, food markers are perfect for this. Using your favorite magical language or symbols of your choosing, create a sigil for your purpose. 

  • Theban Script

If your recipe calls for a bayleaf, write directly on it! The ink will disappear and leave no taste behind. Use a squeeze bottle for sauces in sandwiches or to garnish the plate, laying your meal over top. FInd creative ways to incorporate them in your meals or baked goods! 

Andrea Maldonado | Gourmet Witch

 I created a Sigil years ago for  “Continued unity” , I used a food marker and put it on a cookie, then covered it with frosting, added a naughty phrase –  BOOM! Food Magic. (When I do stuff like this, I usually share the dish with my partner, but sometimes it’s aaaallll for him, so, yea) I have been out of the broom closet forever and he willingly accepts that there will be spells in food, the floor wash, laundry, the car, the closet, you name it! There are strange liquids in the fridge you can’t drink and jars full of herbs, dirt and ash, so if the ethics of this bothers you, you can always make a generalized sigil or skip it entirely!

Andrea Maldonado | Gourmet Witch

As the years pass we all discover so much about ourselves and I know that I have always expressed myself through food and writing. My love language is quality time but also acts of service, which hasn’t changed much over the years and I try my best to show the people I love, that I do! In my own way. My partner has a similar love language which inspired a few other phrases for my conversation hearts that some of you may appreciate.  I literally put an “I appreciate you” sigil for these cookies.  Recipe will be in the next blog post ( gotta keep you coming back somehow !)

Andrea Maldonado | Gourmet Witch

After a long day’s worth of work, a bad day or even just a blah one, I don’t have the energy to cook, so if he can’t also make a meal, he is quick to offer take out options before I get home or if I’m super late, he always gets me something to eat, even if I said I already ate. The appreciation right there, is just everything, I don’t like to be hungry ::crying emoji :: “I got take out” was the first cookie on my I appreciate you list. 

So…… I LOATHE garbage, and garbage day. I will literally do anything to never have to take it out. I’ll go so far as to plan ahead if I know my husband is going to be away. He never asks me to do it, even if he’s not feeling well ( Ugh, I’ll do it then!) or not in the mood, so for that my love, I am forever thankful!! This is why I made an “I took out the trash” one. 

Andrea Maldonado | Gourmet Witch

Finally…. we didn’t have a washer/dryer, the family made a day of Laundry ( There was a Starbucks run , TJ Maxx for the wash cycle and home goods for the drying) We would do the dance everyone does and wondered why the fuck we have so much clothes! Now we are blessed with convenience and I do the laundry most of the time. I don’t mind it so much as it doesn’t get out of hand anymore. There are those times when he will put a load I started, into the dryer and suddenly, the rest of the laundry is washed, folded and put away. For all those times, and so many other little things you pay attention to, I appreciate you my love! 

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ABOUT ME

Andrea Maldonado

Andrea Maldonado is a classically trained chef,a graduate of The Culinary Institute of America, Hyde Park, New York. She worked in a variety of New York City restaurants and high end catering companies. Andrea is an Initiated Priestess of Ochun in the Lucumi Tradition, High Priestess of the Deam Lux Coven and the Minoan Sisterhood. . Andrea is an avid reader, a lover of 1950’s fashion, red lipstick, winged eyeliner, a strong cocktail, having a good cackle- I mean laugh! With friends and enjoying all that life has to offer. Currently working on a bigger cookbook on more food magic, seasonal recipes and Sabbat meals.

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